That moment when reality closes down upon you with the full weight of truth bringing you kicking and screaming in line with it. Unwilling, unbelieving, undeniable. I had been under the false belief that my body fat percent wasn't that bad. That sure I am obese, but I'm functional. I do a very labor intensive job, get praised for carrying it out with professionalism, speed, a high level of customer service. Somehow I had tricked myself into the belief that my body fat percent was around 30. Not good, but not as bad as 'fill in the blank whatever is worse than being obese above 30% body fat'.
I dread the thought of what this page would have said just a short 7 or 8 months ago. Prior to my current work, I had been pretty much sedentary at work and home. My metal states where pretty piss poor, and physically was heavy and pathetic. Weighing in at 370 ish I do not know how I managed the pre employment physical screen in which various physical activities had to be done to show your ability to do the job. It was based on heart rate maximums with rests between the activities. Two weeks ago after working the current job all summer into autumn my weight had come down from 370 to 335. With some improvements in general health, and mentally.
I had come down over the last two weeks from 335 to 323 sunday morning, fasted in boxers. At the test the weight was 325. The one good thing that the test showed was I'm set on lean body mass for my age/height/ appropriate or goal weight. Just need to not lose any of that in the process. The bad part was that it showed i had a body fat % of over 38%. ugh, reality. Just lost 12 pounds..after losing 35...
Such a punch to the gut, taking the wind out of me for a short time as all the thoughts of the journey this year swirled through my minds eye. Several things eventually became clear. I must continue this journey through to the point where it is no longer about hitting a goal. Where maintenance becomes a reality at the legitimate body fat to lean mass ratio. That my forever lifestyle must be one that includes a real and permanent change in eating habits, dietary food choices. Fortunately that process has been underway since 2011, no matter how half hassed/hearted. The knowledge is there, the motivations in place, its not going unheeded. If anything it is just being implemented slower than it should as pieces of the puzzle of me, my best woe come into place.
I have great hope as to this information helps to spur me on to the place, places, and lifestyle I am meant to live in. So for the second week in a row as I return to work with a cooler full of fat, fatty foods, and my ketone supplement. (Keto Os)